Make this year, your partner’s year.

So, here we are. Another new year and that brings along more goals to accomplish and more opportunities to make progress towards these goals. Almost everyone will take this opening to set a resolution to ensure that the year gets started out in the right way. Often these resolutions are about improving health, saving more money, doing better at work or improving a marriage/relationship.

Here is an idea to help with those that are interested in improving their relationship. This may sound radical, it may sound different but believe me, this will improve almost any relationship. But first, I have to go over a few things.

A relationship is just like any other system, when something occurs within the system, or relationship, the impact will be felt throughout the system or relationship and will trigger a similar response from others within the system. For example, if have you ever noticed that when someone says, “how are you doing” almost without even thinking about it you respond by saying, “fine and you”? This is because their nice comment has triggered a similarly nice comment from you.

So it makes sense that when you do something nice it often triggers a similar nice response in your partner. This idea is so simple that we have known this since early in our childhood; if you scratch someone’s back they are likely to scratch yours in return.

So, here is the idea to improve your relationship. This year, don’t worry so much about your new year’s resolutions, ask your partner what theirs are. Then think about what you will do to help them accomplish their goals. Do everything within your power to help them progress towards their goals, no matter what those goals may be, just help them accomplish them. For this process, put your wants aside, and just focus on your partner. The good news is by doing this; your partner will be triggered to respond by being just as unselfish and focused on you as you are.

Elliott E. Connie

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