One of the best things about being a psychotherapist that specializes in working with couples is the amazing stories of couples’ love that I get to hear and the amazing lessons that I have learned from these stories. If there is one resounding message I have been touched by it is the true power of love. In the beginning of my career, not only did I not expect to see couples, I was not really sure on what I thought about the power of love. Most of the people that I knew in my personal life have had their lives impacted by either their own divorce of the divorce of someone close to them. Then, as my professional life shifted towards working with couples I began to see a whole new side of love. So, I want to share a few things based on my experiences over the years in the hopes that others will be just as moved as I have been and can see that love really is powerful.
1. Love lasts forever. Though a divorce may end a relationship, love can last forever. A large amount of couples have come into my office either in the process of divorce or even after the divorce has taken place and soon they resume dating and making progress towards rebuilding a happy relationship. Sometimes it was not even the relationship that brought them into therapy. There have been times when they came into therapy for a parenting issue related to a child they share but in spite of that, the positive feelings still remained enough to restart the relationship. Please understand, I am not saying this is true for all couples, but for those of you out there that think love is something temporary, you are very incorrect.
2. Love at first site is a real thing. I can recall while I was growing up people asking if they believe in love at first site. Well, after seeing thousands of couples and hearing thousands of love stories I can attest that love at first sight is real. This should not come as a shock, we know that there are times when you meet a person and immediately have a very negative response, well, can’t the opposite be true?
3. Love requires action. Love is powerful but it is not enough by itself. It requires nurturing, it requires daily actions that will keep the fires of love stoked. Unfortunately, many people don’t seem to know this and allow bad habits to take hold in an otherwise happy relationship. Avoiding this common pitfall is simple (not easy) and requires doing things every day to ensure your partner and is happy and knows they make you happy too.
4. The best way to attract a partner is to be and trust yourself. In order to find a partner that is right for you, you must be genuine and authentic in how you present yourself to the world. You must be aware of your goodness more than your flaws. Very often people pay so much attention to their faults that they begin to forget how amazing they are and enter into a relationship with someone that may not be right for them. Instead, when people believe in themselves and pay attention to what makes them amazing they are more likely to choose a partner that meets their standards.
These are just a few things that have impacted over the years. I hope you will begin to experience the true power of love in your life. Love truly is what makes life worth living.