A Relationship Requires Learning, stay curious

Sometimes I truly do feel like a moron. I have spent almost all of my adult life studying relationships and in a relationship with my wife and to this day, the things I learn on a daily a basis about her, our relationship and relationships in general continues to amaze me. Like most people, I sometimes get a bit comfortable and think that I have learned a lot but then, the inevitable curveball comes towards me and there is a new piece of information that embeds itself in my life.

A relationship is not a goal, it is a journey, a journey based on learning and applying knowledge. When I married my wife I thought she was the most amazing woman I had ever met, now, she has evolved, grown and become even more special to me. Through that evolution, I had only one job, become aware of the changes in her life and fall in love with those new pieces just as I did with the original version of her. That is where the learning comes in. If there is one piece of advice I can give to all couples it would be to stay curious about your partners. Stay interested in them, continue to work to discover who they are growing into. Don’t expect them to stay the person they were when you met, instead expect them to evolve, expect them to grow, just ensure you are invested enough in their growth process that you will surely be a significant part of your partner’s part.

Makes senses doesn’t it? When we marry we intend to do it for the long hall, literally forever. Still we struggle to understand that people change and grow throughout the life cycle and accidentally view these changes as a bad thing. People often come to my office saying, “we grew apart”. This would not happen if we simply stayed curious about our partner and learned about who they are growing into just as you learned about them when you began dating, the reward will be immeasurably positive.

Elliott Connie

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